dear my love,
I’ve been here for as long as I can remember
I regain consciousness from my very dream
but, my love
who are you ?

the alter personalities of mine
one whom took my freedom away
I shall hate you
and love you at the same time
but again, my love
who are you ?

a shade behind the moon is haunting me
crying beneath its heart
evaporating under the stars
and still, my love
I don’t know you

the smile and the tears
which one is the honesty,
which one is the modesty
and, my love
which one is for me ?

I remember the way you look at me
I remember the way you speak to me
I remember the way we laugh together
but, my love
I can’t remember why you’re here with me
And I still can’t remember who are you …
rather .. actually .. I guess .. I never really know who you are..

Dan aq balik jadi melankolis lagi, WTF-lah. Gak ngerti deh, kata seorang rekan di kantor yang dulu, Ramadhan is a month full of miracles, and I still don’t know which or what miracles I might get .. Jah, tarawih aja lubang-lubang, dan aq berharap dikasih “lebih”, how ungrateful I am. (tapi masih tetep ngarep.. hehehe *dilempar monitor*).

Hum, hesitation is a tough enemy. Sure it is.

Erh.. ano .. erh.. gilak ini server kenapa lagi seh, anjrit dah, padahal kemaren baik-baik sahaja. Semingguan ini berkutat dengan Load Balancing research, squid configuration, sama firewall testing. Cukup membuahkan hasil seh, meskipun praktek operasionalnya baru sabtu depan, cuman tinggal research load balancing yang secara teoritis mulai ngeh, tapi secara praktikal blum masuk ke hati.

Iseng-iseng baca-baca postingan lama, waw, ternyata saya dulu memang sucks =)). Aslinya sekarang masih sucks seh, cuman ketutupan aja sama kesibukan, jadi suxx tu de maxx nya gag parah-parah banget. Sudah lama juga gag rambling pagi-pagi tanpa dibumbui keabstrakan bahasa (woiii… trus puisi diatas itu namanya apa ha?!?!?) .. erh, itu random rambling, inevitable. 😀

Barusan sahur pake MSG goreng sama Kerupuk, plus teh segelas. Waw, ditemani Lilly, server Debian Lenny yang masih berumur beberapa hari, flash back a year when I was working on the Internet Cafe. Ditambah lagi kena brainwash Avenged Sevenfold, King of Convenience, Maliq & D’essentials, Jason Mraz, sama beberapa lagu geje, unavoidable. 😀

Sempet kepikiran buat revive Sakura, my old Slackware server, tapi karena sang empunya menghendaki Debian, ya sutralah, Sakura tar direvive di calon leppie yang masih ada di pabrik aja =)) (jadi bingung mo beli leppie apa PC T.T)

Being 21, its still just a number anyway. Kalok noleh ke belakang, I do really grateful for what I’ve been through. Emang bener kata Bapak, pengalaman hidup itu sesuatu yang mahal, yang dapat menempa seseorang menjadi sesuatu yang lebih baik. Entah lebih baiknya itu di sifat positif ato sifat negatifnya, depend bagaimana tiap-tiap individual mengambil makna dari tiap momen.

Buat seorang kawan, thanks for giving this September a new fire. Buat kawan lagi, don’t hesitate brother.. tell her or you will regret it for the rest of your live. Buat seorang sahabat, traktiran berjamaahnya gimana ?. Buat seseorang, I wonder if what you said is what you really felt inside.. I wonder if you really meant it, coz I couldn’t feel it when you look into my eyes. Buat seorang lagi, congratulation and never look back again. Buat seorang lagi, your happiness is mine as well.. so move on. Buat seorang lagi, I wouldn’t mind to bear another pain and bear another sin if you resolutely say it out loud and clear.

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