I ended up writing for my blog again. No particular topic, just simply another melancholic posting. Actually, its rather just simply letting out the whole burden for a while now, cause I’ve been wondering on which to whom I should share this.
I’m pretty much stuck with some problem lately. First, was an old-unsettled problem that comes out of my family. The other one was about the sway in my heart.
Yea yea yea, I keep telling myself that it will be alright. I shouldn’t regret it. But still, I blame myself for letting it.
If I could just take my heart out, I’d probably lock it up inside a box now, and throw the key to a place of nowhere. So I won’t feel anything anymore. The suffocating feeling of having it is getting even more painful. But I know its impossible, at least for me. Particularly, its not impossible for a human, cause human is an insignificant being. The only thing impossible for a human is to stop its stupidity.
I merely thought that stupidity itself is what makes human even more humanly. Seriously, and why do I have to blabber around about human stupidity ?
Hum.. to think of it, I was the one started all that thing, and I was the one deciding to let it go.. even though it wasn’t my intention, I was the one who hurt her feelings, and I guess this is a punishment cause I’m sure the pain she weld is much heavier than mine.
I just hate myself to see her being somebody elses. Or.. was it the real her that I never saw ? the part that I’ve never seen before ?
Either way, I’ve made a promise to be here whenever she needs me. So as long as she doesn’t, then I won’t interfere. And until that time comes, I’ll pray for her smile.
[KOC – Homesick, Know how][L’arc en Ciel – Winter Fall][Omariaon – Icebox][Ne yo – Mad]