Whoa, dah lama banget gak ujan, dan setelah berbulan-bulan mupeng liatin status YM dan Plurk temen-temen di daerah laen di Pulau JAWA Dwipa nan Gemah Ripah Loh Jinawi (kata orang jaman dulu), akhirnya Surabaya ujan juga.

First thing first, ya, ini curhat! So please stay away if you expect for happy posting or something better or whatever.

It’s been a few days since that day. When I finally found my wings to fly around the world, once again. But I’m still wondering, were those really my wings? Am I too scared to be betrayed again? Am I too naive to forgive and forget?

Gak tahu kenapa, klo ujan gini, selalu ngerasa kosong. Looks like the rain took away a part of me. A part that I couldn’t explain. I used to love the rain, for the joy of those painful memories, for the feeling of emptiness. For everything that has taken away from me. But now, it seems like I’ve had enough.

Jah, tapi meskipun ngomong gitu, tetep aja, kadang aq kangen banget liatin ujan. Satu-satunya momen dimana aq bisa ngerasa … jadi manusia . Maksudnya?!? dunno.. just.. ahh.. nevermind.

Just don’t know how many times I should take this feeling, how long, how far, how much should I receive until I can embrace the future once more? to be honest, I’m still stuck with everything around me. Am I not mature enough?

Or was it really me that just couldn’t accept the reality?

Tiap orang belajar duduk sebelum akhirnya bisa jongkok, nungging, lalu berdiri. Butuh waktu sampai seorang bayi bisa membuka matanya dan kemudian menghadiri pemakaman ayahnya, beberapa puluh tahun kemudian, yang diikuti pemakaman ibunya, beberapa bulan setelah ayahnya. Tiap pasangan butuh waktu dan kesabaran untuk belajar memahami satu sama lain, saling melengkapi, sampai akhirnya menyadari kalau mereka diciptakan tidak untuk bersama. Tiap kesendirian butuh waktu untuk menemukan ruangnya sendiri, dibalik tiap kegembiraan yang tersebar disudut senyum orang lain.

Ain’t it sarcastic way of thinking? *sigh*

Under influence of : Padi – Rapuh; Within Temptation – All I Need; Christina Aguilera – Hurt; D’cinnamons – Would you Let Me Be; Evanescence – My Immortal; Letto – Permintaan Hati

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