There once a song, about the moon.
A very solemn song, that I recall to forget.
Today, when I look upon the sky, its brighter than I’ve ever known before.
The warmth that I’ve longing for, the peace..

Trying to grasp through every night..
Trying to hold every momentum..
Trying to forget every glitch of tears..

Hum, dingin, padahal dah jam 9 pagi, ada apa dengan hari ini, sangat dingin sekali dan bisa ditebak, keinginan untuk melanjutkan tidur lebih kuat daripada keinginan untuk beraktivitas. Like usual, come up with random thoughts about almost everything.. or nothing. Tapi paling gak, beberapa hari ini, I feel a little better, no, honestly, I feel much more better now.

Trying to remember why I’m here. Sedang apa dan mau apa dan kenapa ? Absurd isn’t it, even with the same answers, every time, every day, Still.. I keep on questioning myself about it. Just like a little child lost in the center of theme park.

Buka-buka playlist lama, mataku langsung tertuju ke file SimphonyOfTheDjondoz.m3u, gak pake lama, langsung double click tuh file, and slowly, jadi melankolis dramatis apatis katarsis dan sedikit hiperbolis.


Btw, Capek banget, dah 3 minggu lembur terus. Sejak salah satu temen keluar, jadwalnya jadi kacaw, mo sampe kapan gini terus, lama-lama remuk redam luluh lantak neh badan gara-gara terlalu diforsis. Dan entah kenapa sang Manager tercinta yang sedang menunggu kelahiran anak pertamanya belum juga mendapat pengganti (ato memang blum niat nyari pengganti?).

Dear God,

I know I’ve been a very stupid and bad person. I know I couldn’t change the past, nor alter it. All I have left are only my hope, my dream and my will.

She’s been a precious one for me. She always be. Even thought I know I’m not that worth to be on her side. Thus I still wishing to be on her side.

Everytime I see the rain falls, I cried. Loud enough so no one would notice it.
Everytime I see those starry skies, I remembered. Clear enough to see those smile, those tears, those happiness, and those painful memories. Yet, her voices always ease my pain. Thats why I keep this feeling, this promise, and this memory inside me.

Now God,
The only thing I asked of you, is to hold her when I’m not around, when I’m much to far away. Hold her tight so she won’t shed anymore tears, so she would stand up against herself. Because I love her, and I know I won’t be able to be with her forever.

Thanks God..

Under influence of: … too much…