Strange title, yeah.. I’ll explain later.

Today is my birthday, This year is so special… soalnya aq ngeraya’in sama someone special. Its the first time I celebrate it exactly on the midnight. Yup, it was so.. fun. Birthday celebration memang gag ada dalam kamus keluargaku, even thought they always remember my birthday (yeah, i know, they forget my last 7 birthday, they’re too busy). Tapi semalem bener” menyenangkan… aq belum pernah mendapat ucapan selamat ulang tahun tepat di hari lahirku sebelumnya… thanks for this best present on the best moment on my life.

Sejenak, aq isa ngelupain masalah-masalah yang membebani selama 3 minggu terakhir. A very troublesome that my hand couldn’t even type it, and my mouth couldn’t even whisper it. Hmh.. bahkan terlalu lelah buat sekedar mengingatnya kembali.

… duh, sekarang malah jadi speechless. So sad that last night I was gonna settle everything, so sad that last night I was gonna ask her for break up. Because I can’t be someone she could rely on anymore. I’m just .. overburdened.. and I won’t treat her bad.. I promised myself not to abandon her again, but this problem kinda kill me from the inside out.. pouring my body.. stopping my time.. breaking my heart…

But, her voices.. gave me the strength I’ve been searching for.. her eyes, make my mouth can’t speak a single words,.. her smile.. its killing my heart… I don’t want to shed her tears anymore.. what should I do.. I feel so guilty.. I feel so confuse..

Still, thanks for the present. I love you, always. And, sorry that I couldn’t be someone you could rely on that much. Sorry that I couldn’t make you always smile. Sorry that I can just say sorry…